Dental DAMN!

Do you guys go to the dentist regularly?  You probably should.  Lets back up.  I used to go to the dentist every 6 months.  My mom made me.  In turn I had no cavities and always got a prize from the treasure chest.  Then I went to college.  I made my own decisions like drinking all night, not brushing my grill every night and certainly not sitting cross-eyed in the bathroom trying to floss them.  I went to the dentist after a few years and I had several cavities.  I freaked out and went and had 3 of them filled.  I hated it so bad.  No gas, just shots of numbing death in my gums and a loud, loud drill.  I never went back.  Enter last week.  I went to the dentist cause who can raise a kid and try to make them live a healthy lifestyle that doesn't even take care of their own grill.  That's right, ya can't.  So I picked this one guy cause apparently he will gas you to the moon just for a cleaning and lets face it guys, I am a fan of the N2O (since like Phish shows in 02').  Anyhow, as the dentist was playing Bingo (calling out my cavities to the hygienist) I started hyperventilating and realized I was gonna have to tell my mom that I have 20 cavities.  SICK.  SICK.  What the F&%K!!! 20.  Phew.  I thought there may have been more.  Went 2 days ago and ya'll, just go to the dentist.  Seriously I can't believe I have to pay $2,800 to fix my shit so my teeth don't rot out and my kid doesn't have the mom with no teeth cause she was drunk and lazy and ate too much candy and her shit rotted out.  That dentist effed me up, with a capital EFF.  After 1 solid hour of inhaling magic gas I was higher than that Jet Blue plane before that crazy captain took over.  Just as quickly a swarm of people came in and drilled my teeth out while I was still trying to comprehend the house I just saw on HGTV and the crackhead trying to buy it.  It was over relatively quick for me (3 hours felt like 8 minutes) but damn my mouth hurts now.  My crown feels like a giant piece of Hubba Bubba stuck in my mouth and I can't open that wide but guess what?!  I am halfway done with my Restoration Grill!  That's right, on April 16th I have to go back for round 2.  So kids, there is a message here.  Brush yo teeth, brush yo kids teeth, brush yo husbands teeth and go to the damn dentist.  Holla!


  1. Oh, shit. I had 2 cavities after Rutledge & 3 after Gaines:( I had never had one before kids. If it makes you feel better, our dentists wife (who is a nutritionist) has had several after her pregnancies, says its really common to have lots of cavities after babies because they pull nutrients out of our bones & teeth while in utero:( But, I know this is a blow & its sucks big time:( I'm sorry friend! So long tax refund check:(

  2. I start my restoration grill project next week. UGH. Apparently I got 20 cavities while I was pregnant. WTF skerrred.


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