Once upon a time

Just a little bathroom humor.  I'd show you the other one but you can see the toilet full of pee, we live by the "If it's yellow let it mellow" rule.  It's gross, I know.

"Once upon a time there's a little rolly poly at my house once upon a time  it's little because I pet em because mine hold em because mine pet em."

She tells stories now.  This just started, just sat on the pot and told me a little tale.  I love it.



So how many of my peeps went to college or know someone currently in college?  Do you guys remember how expensive it was to buy books?  God I hated that shit!  I would get my student loan, pay tuition, go bar hopping, then remember I had to buy books with that money too.  Oops.  Never failed, mom & dad had to send me some cash so I could buy a $400 USED book!  WTF?  A book that someone else had used, that I only needed for that amount of money?  It sucked.  I found a solution though and you guys need to spread the word!  I've partnered up with Campus Book Rentals to tell ya'll about this awesome service!  Not only can you buy books like this for a fraction of what you would pay (cause I seriously had to buy and read that waste of a tree), they ship both ways for free, you can mark in the book, AND they donate to Operation Smile with every text book rental!  I'm talking 40%-90% off of what you would pay to buy a book!  I know what you're thinking, this can't be real, this is the best idea ever, WHY am I a child of the 80's and didn't have this luxury?  Well now ya can, or your little sis can, or your cousin, or your young lover (50 shades baby)...  Go check them out!  Join them on Facebook or Twitter to stay up to date on all your college book needs!
Don't let buying books hold you back this fall!  Just rent em'!

This is a paid post from CampusBookRentals.com. All opinions are my own. Support Operation Smile!


Dreams & Junk

Little girl did good at school in panties yesterday.  I am quite impressed that I just hauled out the panties and she decided to go ahead and be trained.  She gets her laziness from me, I won't lie.

Speaking of lazy I got this stuff called Nightburn that is supposed to magically make you lose weight while you sleep.  I know, lame right?  I mean why don't I just exercise?  Cause I am lazy and guess what, this shit isn't a crock of shit.  I lost 5 lbs in 7 days.  I don't care that it isn't ideal and probably not very healthy,  I wanna drop a few lbs and its workin.  

This morning I asked Scarlet if she had sweet dreams.  For the past three days her answer has not swayed.  Not in excitement to tell me, not in order, and certainly not in cuteness.  Every morning I say hey sweet girl did you have sweet dreams?  She says MMMM HMMMM all drawn out and cute like, then waits on me to say ohhhh what did you dream about?  "Hmmm, cupcakes, puppies, stiters (stickers), & key cats."  Every.single.day.  Then she asks me if I dreamed about Nonnie (my mom) & Daddy!  She is a hoot!  

I am over this week already.  This past weekend was blissfully relaxing and I want it back.  

One of my friends is pregnant and I can't tell anyone and I am really excited for her and for me to get to play with a baby.

Back to work I go.  This was a stupid post.



Having a toddler is hilarious.  They say and do some funny shit.  Scarlet got to wear panties this weekend.  She thinks she is BIG STUFF and I don't blame her, it is pretty awesome to not have to sit in your own urine and feces.  I put her in the bed in panties last night.  I wouldn't say epic fail, I was just testing the waters.  She only peed in it twice so I got up, took her to the potty, cleaned her and the bed up and put her back down.  We will see how things go with that.  P.s. I bought a Barbie from the grocery store for a "all day dry" present.  When did Barbie become such a skank?  I mean I know she has always bared mid drift and worn short shorts but good god does a child's doll really need a phone, heels and a bra?  Gah.  Some not so awesome stuff they do:  She has been in a big bed for months now (I think like 8) and by big bed I don't mean a toddler bed, I mean a BIG, antique, very high bed.  She has never fallen out or gotten out.  She knows knew that only Mommy or Daddy can get her in and out.  Or so I thought.  Saturday morning I opened my eyes because I started having a creepy feeling that someone was watching me.  They were.  At 7:00 am on the dot I opened my eyes to a toddler 3/4 of an inch away from my face.  I almost shit my bed, like literally.  She said "Mine just really needs that Minnie Mouse cup" that was sitting on my bedside table.  Really?  Really kid?  You were awoken from your peaceful slumber because you somehow knew I borrowed your Minnie Mouse cup and you just HAD TO HAVE IT AT SEVEN IN THE MORNING.  On a Saturday.  What the hell.  We had a major talk about it and John got up with her letting me sleep in until 9!  Whoop!  So I told her that in the morning she could look at her stop light clock and when it was green she could call for Daddy (muahahahh not for me)! At 7:30 on the dot Sunday morning she said "daddy! Daddy! DADDY!!! Come det meeeee, my light dreen!!"  And he got up with her again :)  Spoiled I know.  Another un-cool thing she did:  I don't know if after climbing out of the giant bed she felt bold or what but she was getting ready for breakfast (as in I was making her plate) and she said she wanted to eat.  I told her to hold on a second and let me get her food and get her up in the high chair, I turn around and she is crouching tiger all up in her high chair, by herself, on our concrete-esque kitchen floor.  Her Boon high chair, that has wheels and is HIGH.  What the hell.  A cool thing, she likes doing "gymnastics" i.e. running from one end of the house to the other "real super fast" she says, flipping around the entire house, and fake yoga that she learned from some skank at an art festival who had multiple hoola-hoops (as well as the most proficient camel toe I have ever seen).  I wish I had a picture of that lady but I don't  I do have a video of flippin' though.  We gotta get this kid in a gym class!

Back to work for me.  A/C is out in my office, not the whole office, just mine.  WTF is that?  It is 80* and climbing up in this piece so I am gonna stop typing cause it's making me hot.  Happy Monday!