Shit kids say

Now that the littlest Macon has learned how to use sentences, she does it often.  More often than not, she does it very silly-ly (that should so be a word).  Lately.

• My pay pay do mommy wif daddy.  My pay wif daddy peeeees mommy  my pay pay doh.
• Daddy wortin maytin my money.
• Hold you me mommy
• My go potty my get belly bean
• Beef brush mommy my wanna beef brush (brush teeth) & last night she asked for her poof brush instead of beef?  (That is sooo gross)
• Mommy where molly go?  Me - Molly went home sweetie with her mommy.  S - She go home? She get new daddy?  Molly and Holby (Colby) get new daddy?
• What is your whole name Scarlet?  S - Carlet LEETA Maytin.  (we have my mom and sis to thank for this, they call her Letta/Leeta.  It stuck).
• My see Emma baftub weenie?  Mommy Emma have weenie in baftub? 
• Any time a noise that sounds remotely like a fart is emitted from ANYTHING she yells "MOMMY HOOOOTED"

That's really all I can think of right now.  She is so damn funny.  I am going to the beach tomorrow, hell yes.  Hopefully something unfortunate or funny (more than likely both) will happen while there and I will have some good material next week.

Mint + Bloom

Guys,  do you read First Name Smith?  She is not only hilarious but awesome cause she is giving away a gift card to Mint + Bloom!  Go check her out.  I would love to be able to hook my momma up with a sweet gift and not have to come out of pocket cause I'm cheap like that!

Hair Today, Gone NOW

So do you guys ever get a wild hair (haha punny) to try those pinterest hair tutorials.  I am living proof that you should bypass them.  All of them.  Ok maybe you can do a braid and get away with it but I have tried 2 to date and have made an EPIC mockery of them both.  These people are either a. not real people, b. wearing wigs, or c. editing out the part in the video where they have to run get their hair professionally fixed before showing the end result.  First up was the sock bun curls.  Remember this girl?  Yeah, mine looked like a kinked out hooker (think Julie Roberts but not near as cute).  So last night I decided to try out this.  Kinda Shakira-ish but I am ok with it.  Let the following pictures be a reminder that THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT REAL.   First you twist up little buns and be sure you strongly resemble Shorty from "Don't be a Menace" .

                                                                                            

    

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See the resemblance?

Next you sleep on it and apparently wake up like this beauty.

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Except for this happened.  And it wasn't good.  Not at all.  

 I kind of knew things weren't going well here...

 Then I stumbled across Jennifer Gray.

Then I showed my husband the epic damage.  This would be great had I wanted to go to work looking like a member of White Snake.

In the end the only thing I can say is it's a GOOD damn thing I have a fabulous flat iron.  I had to come to work with a pony tail and you can't tell in this picture but that flat iron couldn't smooth that joker out.  It is huge.  Lesson learned for now.  Guess I'll just try a braid.

     

Dental Accident part 1

My tooth fell out.  We were eating dinner on Johns birthday eve having an in depth discush about crowns and teeth.  I touched my temporary crown with my tongue and it fell out.  I wigged and called the office manager at the dentist who happens to date my cousin (lesbians be cray cray ya'll) and she said no biggie.  Yeah it was kind of a biggie, I mean my tooth fell out.  8:34 am the next morning she called my office to tell me Dr. Drill-hole said I had to come get it put back.  Damn it.  They had my new shiny permanent tooth there so at least they didn't have to put the old gross fakey on.  It wasn't so bad, other than the tiny hand saw (I shit you not) that the hygienist used to SAW the cement out from between my teeth.  Who comes up with this shit?  What medical proffesional thinks hmmmm, we should make a TINY HAND SAW to get cement out of teeth?  What idiots.  So I got to lay there and watch a hour of HGTV while waiting on them to get this thing in and its good.  All I can think about is Monday.  The remaining half of my face will be drilled out while I am in and out of consciousness and then I get to drive (haha they let me drive after this) to face my child who will run screaming from me then reenact my face thinking I'm being silly.  Then I'll drink several a bottle of wine (you know, cause my mouth hurts).  This is PSA number dos.  Go to the dentist.  I may be back to tell about our Easter weekend, maybe not.  Consists of one HELL of a hangover so its kind of important.

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Ya'll, google "dental crown"