Without Fail

How are toddlers so smart?
How do they know the minute we fall asleep?
Can you tell me why, for the past 7 days, my child has sounded a tornado siren from her room anywhere within 5 minutes to 17 minutes of my alarm going off at 5:45 am.  FIVE FOURTY-FIVE in the morning.
We got lucky on the sleep front when she was little.  I'm talking 5 weeks and she was sleeping 10+ hours a night but enter toddler-hood.  Oh toddlers.  The hood of toddlers.
We finally get that beast to bed, ya know after brushing our teeth, face and hands with toothpaste, after practically squeezing pee out of her, and 20 minutes of choosing just the right stuffed animal to sleep with, when we can relax.  By relax I mean sit on the edge of the couch and watch the monitor for her to scream.  Cause she is going to scream.
We go maybe 6 days a month with NO noise from her room at night but those other 24 days...it's rough ya'll.

What I don't understand is she goes to bed fine & sleeps fine for the most part.  We have yet to find a reason for the "Mommy, Moooommmy, DAD, DADDDDDDY" alarm  that she has set.  And it pisses me off.

When I look at the monitor she is asleep, yelling in her sleep.  And I don't mean scared yelling, like night terror, just yelling.  If one of us goes in the room it makes it worse, so I just lay there, awake, while John saws enough logs to build a cabin and she screams.

It doesn't really even matter anymore.  I have become so used to getting broken sleep that when she doesn't actually wake up demanding bed side service, I don't notice.
I think all I am trying to say is that is doesn't matter if your kid slept through the night early, hell it doesn't matter if your kid never slept at all cause I am here to tell you, if you have children you will never sleep through the night again. Ever.
Go fourth and reproduce, only if you are brave, and never want to sleep again.

Happy Thursday!


  1. You are soooooo right! By the time they are out of the house you are getting older and don't sleep well because of that! Glad you are enjoying "zombiehood!"

  2. I can not remember the last time i was really well rested. I guess that is how it will be for the next 20 + years! ha


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