Report

We went to the doc yesterday to be sure something else wasn't going on with my little.  It's not.  She needs to poop.  No, I am not kidding.  Doc asked about her poops and I described (I'll spare you the deets) and determined that since she isn't having "healthy" ones she needs to have some prune juice and acid relief (Prevacid) as well as a tums before bed cause she is all kinds of backed up.  I am happy to know we can go to Nashville this weekend but ya'll.  This kid won't poop.  She has had 16 ounces of Prune juice in 20 hours and still won't go.  She sat on the toilet and cried for 30 minutes cause she is scared to go.  I don't know why, I guess cause she is afraid it will hurt.  It is weird cause she has been pooping on the toilet for quite sometime so I don't understand why she doesn't want to now.  Well anyway, I bought a pediatric enema (MOM, pleeeeease come over) and if she didn't go at school today.... I'll leave it at that. :)  Happy Birthday to me (totally sarcastic).

It's my Friday!

Just life

We have had some ups and downs lately.  More ups than downs, but downs none the less.  Saturday we had big plans to build a sand box, attend a neighborhood block party, and have a slumber party.  Things don't always go as planned.  John got up and went to get the sandbox supplies.  First off, this thing is bad ass, and we (Scarlet) love it.  BUT!  unless you own 1/2 of the shit it calls for, it costs much more than the alotted $67 bucks or so.  Turned out sweet & I am glad Life in the Dub Lane/our buddies The Griza's did it first so we had something to go by!

(before sand).

We went to the block party that I wish they would have EVERY weekend!  Live bluegrass music, streets roped off, a giant bouncy and snacks, beer, etc.  It was cool!  Scarlet was kinda "off" clingy the whole time but I didn't think much of it.  About 6:15 she wanted to go home for dinner so we walked back down leaving John to enjoy the get together.  As I was telling her to get off of my leg while I made her dinner she blew chunks in the kitchen floor.  No wonder she didn't want to get in a bounce house :/  Mom fail # 4,563,209.  I babied her until bed, fed her minimally and she slept great.  Enter Sunday.  Fine all day, took a big ole 3 hour nap.  Up ALL NIGHT Sunday.  Dry heaving, crying & not sleeping.  So I took off Monday, Johns mom watched her today and his shift is tomorrow.  Ya'll it is pathetic.  A 2 year old sick is so so sad.  She has slept for 18+ hours a day.  Sounds like a dream to any toddler mom but its not, cause I know she feels awful.  She has been plesant other than when puking, and done nothing but snuggle and sleep. 

We have had lots of happy smiles.

And lots of "napping" on the couch.

(Yes she has been wearing the same pjs for 3 days.)

So even while we are trying to get over the funk some cool shizz has happened.  I got a new car.  I mean I got a new Van, a MINIVAN.  I have a minivan!  HA!  I am so excited.  Although the transition was hard (mentally) and still is, this thing is amazing.  I have cruise control you guys, I have never had cruise control.  I have consistent AC, I have a LIFETIME warranty.  Lifetime.  The only thing it doesn't cover is the wipers and headlights.  Holy shit. 
So I started this post 11 days ago (Saturday the 16th) and just got back to it.  The littlest Macon has since quit barfing but still is acting funny.  I am taking her to the doc today.  We are supposed to go to Nashville for the weekend for the Trickey family festivities but if she is sick still we can't risk giving it to Grannie.  Boo.  I still love my mini-van and I turn 30 Friday.  Crap.
Hope I can find more time in my older, wiser years to blog...

Extra Extra read all about it!

Dudes, I cleaned out my closet tonight (again) and found some cool clothes that no longer compliment my "sexy" mom body.  You can buy em.  First person that comments on a specific item gets it, $5 shipping whether you buy 1 or all of em.  None of these have been worn much.  I am not doing all of that B.S. worn once blah so if ya want it buy it.  I swear there is not dirty grub clothes (in this stack) and no skid marks. Have fun.

 Ann Taylor Loft Pink linen pants.  Size 4.  Yes they need to be ironed.  Tell ya what, buy em and I'll iron em before shipping.  Worn once, they are too tight on my waist (thanks kid).  $15 (Retail $59.50 3 weeks ago)

 CUTE ass Lerner NY tube top.  once again thanks kid.  Size 4 worn a few times, great condition $8

Side zip linen tank, some fancy boutique brand. Size M. $8

Cute ass Free People top.  Size M.  $12

Another cute FP top.  Love this one but it is a little too big.  Size 10 (fits like an 8).  $15.

Random maternity shirt found in my closet.  Pea in the pod. Size S. $8

I love love this top/cardi.  Doesn't do many any favors anymore for me thanks to this muffin I'm sportin'.  Free People, size M.  $15.  (scroll down and check out the cute cinched back)!

Made this pic xtra large so you could see the pretty-ness of this top.  Free People butterfly sleeves with awesome designs on front and back  Size S.  Love this top wore it once.  Paid $110 asking $20

Urban Outfitters tee.  so comfy, thin as paper and a little too big for me. Size M.  $5

Sophie Max cute sleeveless top.  Never worn, hung in my closet for 2 years!  Size L.  $8.

  This is sooooo cute and I have worn it a couple of times but since having a kid it just doesn't fit right anymore.  gathered waist. Size S.  100% cotton.  Anthropologie.  $8

Banana Republic brown trousers.  Size 8.  never worn.  to big when I bout em but I liked em?!  $15

American Eagle gray "khaki's"  LOVE these pants but the day I can squeeze my ass back into a 4 will be the day.  The End.  $8

This shirt is so cute but I just don't wear it.  Free People 3/4 sleeve peasant blouse.  Gathered in back. size S. $15.

Target tunic (I think Mossimo)  I don't know if I was drunk whenI bought this but I bought a large and although I like it, its way too big and looks awful on me.  never worn.  $4

Express cable knit short sleeved sweater.  Never worn, super cute on hanger, not so much on a cable knit body.  FML, I love this.  Bought like 6 months ago!  $12

ADORA-boots Free People short sleeve cardi.  Looks like a loose knit, dark brown.  Puffy sleeves, size M. $15.

Just realized I totally did the "worn #$&^ shit".  Whatever.  Hope ya like my clothes that don't fit me anymore.  I accept Paypal ONLY, I will send you an invoice and ship once payment is received.  And guys, no returns.  I am sorry if it doesn't fit how you imagined but I am not paying to ship it again.  Happy weekend!

Wet Willy

Ya'll remember this guy?  

(source)

John always talks about wanting one of these.  I'm down, he is pretty cute.  

I don't wash my hair, like ever.  Its a blessing really, I have really dry hair so the dirtier it is, the better it looks.  Anyhow about day 3, 4, & 5 of no washing I curl my hair with a flat iron and get beachy, wavy cool hair.  This morning I looked like Koopa cause I slept on my dirty curly hair.

(source)

John gets up before me.  He showers and makes a lot of racket and then I get up and go get ready in my bathroom (yes we have separate cause guys are gross and beard hair sicks me out).  So back to wet willy,  I was fixing my Koopa-esque do when John walked in my bathroom looking like something STRAIGHT off a sex offender list.  His hair was soaking wet and sticking up all crazy like yet he had on work clothes (tucked in polo & all).  I busted and asked why his hair looked like that.  He had a good story ya'll.  Goes a little something like this:

"My toilet wouldn't stop running so I took the back off to jiggle that thing and thanks to our obnoxious water pressure that little tube thingie that puts the water in the thingie blew out and flung all over like a wet willy sprinkler.  Do you remember those?  We should get one."  

I can't make this shit up guys.  That was his explanation.  

Wet fucking willy.  I can't stop laughing.  At my desk.  Wet Willy.

In other news, S had disney day at school today.  Why do daycares think it is necessary to have a theme every week and make us buy shit for our kids to wear so they aren't the only ones not in a superhero, nursery rhyme, Hawaiian, Disney costume?  I did forget the cheese cubes I was supposed to bring on Hawaiian day (shit) so I'm sure they all already know I suck but anyway I dressed her for Disney day today and she looked cute.  I'm sure it will suck to nap and play outside in that hot ass costume but whatev.

Have a good weekend creeps.

Just another day in paradise

The terrible twos suck. Bad. Last night S cried for a solid 45 minutes for the opposite of what she asked for. It was so stupid. I was so proud when John snatched her up and said fine, bed time then. She was asleep within 3 minutes. Facepalm. She was just tired and I was ignoring the cues. My only proud moment was that she didn't get away with it. It was keep up, and you go to bed, well she got what she wanted. Bed. I cannot deal with that shit y'all. The constant whining makes me want to punch a baby (not S, she is a kid now). It's just awful. Some words:
I want milk, no water, no I want water no mine brush my beef first by mine sewwwwf. My go night night nooooooo no go night night my go outside. My go tee tee nooooo my no go potty mine take baf my wAnt my daddy. Mine gared funder. (I'm scared of thunder).

Look I know that is a run on but swear that was the kids sentence before being sentenced to bed. (ha! Punny). Whatever we lived and today proved to be much better. She kept a dry dipe all day at school (talkaboutamoneysaver) and I decided we would play in the hose, fill up the baby pool, and have a picnic for dinner. We played for quite awhile then I came in and made her a pb&j with some Doritos. She scarfed that shit and was soo proud to sit outside and eat at her "pinnnic.". I'm pretty proud too. If we can just get thought the next 16 yrs with baby pools and picnics we will be golden. I got a damn big jar of peanut butter.


Swimsuit with no dipe... She def peed in the front yard and laughed..


What's up with that vein on my forehead?


Sweet daddy pic :)

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad

Tude

I have a bad attitude today.  It's Monday.  I welcomed Aunt Flo to town in my new $15 Victoria Secret panties.  At least I was wearing some.  I've come off a full weekend of family and I don't like it.  Our Grannie is having some health problems so we packed up (my mom, sis, aunt & cousins) and went up to help keep her chin up.  We managed to squeeze in some fun (Duh) between all the sitting in the hospital and it made Gran really happy to have us there.  I came home yesterday after sitting in motha-trucking traffic for 2 hours cause a 18 wheeler jack-knifed across the interstate (now that's punny) hahahaha to quite the two year old.  Her attitude is outrageous.  She spent the weekend with my in-laws and hubs in Tuscaloosa and no doubt was up too late and covered in junk food all weekend so her attitude kind of sucked.  We haven't been home for a weekend in like 6 weeks.  This poses a problem see.  I clean on weekends, like deep clean.  The house is a wreck & I need to freaking clean but I would rather go drink my cramps away.  Fudge.  Imagine a toilet that hasn't been cleaned in 6 weeks.  Guys.  A toilet where a 2 year old pees and poops every.four.minutes.  There is a hair rug growing in my bathroom floor, Johns shower looks like a crime scene from a constant drip turned mold garden & we now have a dust bunny farm.  Like they are mating.  They will totally let you pet them too.  My job is stressing me out.  I love it and I want to be the best but having week after week of having to leave early for whatever emergency I am soooooo behind.  Guess that's pretty much all I have to bitch about.  Hope Tuesday ROCKS this hard.
 

Shoot low boys, she's riding a Shetland pony!

 Ferris Wheel all alone :)

 Bare Booty hand washin (similar to hillbilly hand fishin)

 And me and my Grannie.  What a sweet soul she is.